Front Page > Articles > Dates that flake

Dates that flake

Having a girl flake on you is one of the most annoying things. You make a date with the girl of your dreams and you have things set. You have made sure that everything will be perfect. You have:

Made sure the time suits her
Picked her favorite meeting place
Reminded her a day in advance
Checked at the last moment, just to make sure that she will come.

Yet she still does not turn up.

Mummy, can we go to the park?

There is one key quality that women look for in a guy more often than anything else:

Independence

Women are looking for a man to be a partner, not a child (or dependent). There is a big difference between them.

The Child: Children are unable to make informed decisions on their own. They can not be left alone for long and rely on their caregiver. Caregivers often find that looking after kids can be a full time job.
The Partner: Partners are able to make decisions independently, and will survive if left alone. They can be relied upon in times of need and know how to take charge of a situation.

So the real question is, are you trying to be more of a child or partner to her?

Become the partner

Before you start claiming that you are independent, here are some things that a dependent person would say:

How about we go out for coffee?
Where would you like to go for coffee?
Are you free on Monday night?... How about Tuesday?... Surely you are free on Wednesday?
How do you feel about me?

Now here are the same things but from a person that has independence:

I am going out for coffee, but your free to come.
Lets meet at Starbucks.
If you are lucky, I might have time on Monday.
I know you like me...

Why women flake on dates

When it comes down to it, women go on dates because they want to see if you are who they are looking for. As soon as you constantly display a lack of independence or value her opinion over your own, she starts to see you as a dependent person. As she does not find dependent people attractive, she knows you are not the one.

Your lack of independence has scared her off!

Some things to try are:

Value your opinion (it is the one person you can trust).
Display leadership.
Stop asking questions.
If unsure on something, try picking at random.
Do not let her "no-show" ruin your plans.
Make sure (or at least make her feel) that the party will still continue if she is not there.
She is the one missing out.
Do not become obsessed.

In the end, if she still flakes:

It is her loss.
Her turn to make the next move.
Forget and remember that there are many more women out there.

Tags: Date, Wimps

Related items: